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Literature Text
Hear me out before passing Judgement
for that is the principle of our nation
Innocent until proven guilty beyond
a reasonable doubt: our peers the ones
who pass
our sentence in open trial.
By law hearsay should be discounted
evidence used against us obtained
through warrant.
Do I hope in vain for Justice
in fading democracy?
For what I see is brutality at
any means defended
at the cost of life, liberty and happiness.
for that is the principle of our nation
Innocent until proven guilty beyond
a reasonable doubt: our peers the ones
who pass
our sentence in open trial.
By law hearsay should be discounted
evidence used against us obtained
through warrant.
Do I hope in vain for Justice
in fading democracy?
For what I see is brutality at
any means defended
at the cost of life, liberty and happiness.
Literature
This Is How I Suffocate
Memories died on a tongue-tied synapse
while my rabbit heart raced through the nightmare,
skinned alive and breaking on the concrete.
Literature
Love Pounds Part 8
Ami watched from behind a corner at the handsome man that was feasting on a woman, biting into her neck. Lifting her chubby wrist to her face she called the others. “Girls get to the park, there’s a new enemy! Hurry!” Taking out her blue transformation pen she held it up and called out “Mercury Star Power Make Up!” Twirling around blue magic came out of her pen and encased itself around her legs, around her arms and body. Within seconds the blue magic exploded and turned Ami into Sailor Mercury. “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” Danielson stopped eating and turned to face her, dropping the girl to the ground. He looked the sailor guardian over, seeing how her sailor costume hugged her body tightly and left little to the imagination. The white material outlined every inch of her flab, showing how her belly hung over her blue skirt in a slight apron. Her blue miniskirt itself covered the majority of her butt, except for the bottom most part. Her blue boots fit her legs, highlighting her
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© E-HIndigo 02/06/2017
Disclaimer: This is property of myself, :devE-HIndiog:. If you want to add it to a group or use it any way please Note me for permission.
Critique: I have opened this up for Critique using deviantArt's Critique Feature. Please also answer the below questions through the comments section.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
1. What do you think about when you read this piece?
2. Which lines do you feel are the strongest? Why?
3. What lines do you feel need work? Please suggest changes and compare them to the original line.
4. Would you suggest any formatting changes? Or adding lines to flesh out the piece more?
~ E-HIndigo
Disclaimer: This is property of myself, :devE-HIndiog:. If you want to add it to a group or use it any way please Note me for permission.
Critique: I have opened this up for Critique using deviantArt's Critique Feature. Please also answer the below questions through the comments section.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
1. What do you think about when you read this piece?
2. Which lines do you feel are the strongest? Why?
3. What lines do you feel need work? Please suggest changes and compare them to the original line.
4. Would you suggest any formatting changes? Or adding lines to flesh out the piece more?
~ E-HIndigo
© 2017 - 2024 E-H-Indigo
Comments4
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1. Our society and the questions I constantly deal with when it comes to the Justice System.
2. "Do I hope in vain for Justice/ in fading democracy?" Sticks out because I see myself as ever the optimist with hopes/expectations of what things should be, even though reality paints a different story each time.
3/4. As of right now, at 1:11 am on 3/12/2017, I cannot answer these. You hit the nail on this horrible world we live in, where our attempts to make it better have little initial impact, with hopes that they turn into ripples with larger impacts in our lifetime.
2. "Do I hope in vain for Justice/ in fading democracy?" Sticks out because I see myself as ever the optimist with hopes/expectations of what things should be, even though reality paints a different story each time.
3/4. As of right now, at 1:11 am on 3/12/2017, I cannot answer these. You hit the nail on this horrible world we live in, where our attempts to make it better have little initial impact, with hopes that they turn into ripples with larger impacts in our lifetime.